Thursday Thirteen-13 Cheesy TV must-haves

Thirteen Favorite Cheesy TV shows by Anna J. Evans

1. Scarecrow and Mrs. King. My number one cheesy TV show EVAH!! I was so in love with Bruce Boxleitner and still thought Kate was cool from when she was on Charlie's Angels. And I thought the premise was so cool...housewife by day, secret spy by night. I made my mom tape it for me in elementary school when it came on past my bedtime, lol.


2. Little House on the Prairie. I just loved the way it came on and wanted to BE Laura...especially when she grew up and married Bruce in real life! Of course Bruce was older by then, and so was I, and over the thinking feathered hair on men was sexy.

3. Beverly Hills 90210...enough said. Yes, I loved it and watched it from THE BEGINNING. I was telling my junior high friends how cool it was before anyone had memorized this infamous zip code. Don't know if that's something to brag about....or admit in public, but...


4. Family Ties. My family used to watch this together...on Sunday's I think. Good times and Alex P. Keaton was also way hot in my little girl mind.


5. Charlie's Angels. I wanted to BE one so badly.

6. Growing Pains.

7. Silver Spoons. Another blonde hottie...when I was like 6 or 7, of course. Though he didn't grow up too badly did he?


8. Nightrider...yes I liked it. I can admit that even with the recent Hassle-crazy scandal.


9. Melrose Place. Yes, it was 90210's bastard offspring, but such bat-shit crazy intrigue.

10. The Simpsons before they turned stupid.

11. Futurama. So good, can't believe it died as soon as it did.

12. Southpark! Yes, I love it. I'm that adolescent and crass. (Though sometimes they push it far enough to make even me wince....but I like being pushed outside my comfort zone.)


13. My so Called Life. With Clair Danes (who is cute and the queen of angst) and Jared Leto...droooooolllll....whatever happened to him? He was so yummy. I mean he had a few movies then, poof, he disappeared.



Mr. Linky Below!!

Wednesday ack!

Hey ya'll, over at the Deliciously Naughty Writers blog talking about work spaces. (That's one of my workspaces above...littered with 3's toys.)

No Nightwhispers blog today because I'm doing the Thursday 13 for them tomorrow. Two 13s in one day...it should be interesting to see what the hell I come up with since I'm always strapped for 13 ideas as it is.

Big things happening at the Evans house today. 12 has her awards ceremony, then meeting up with Grandma Stumpy for some shopping and eats, and then going to try to squeeze in some words there somewhere.

Happy Wednesday!
Anna J. Evans

Memorial Day Manmeat-Late Poetry Train

Cary Grant...sigh. I just think he's dreamy, especially in uniform :). So no deep man meat thoughts for my Memorial Day manmeat ( a day late, I was out at the lake getting a sunburn with Roo and the hubs. We had a great day, though I think I may have drunk a bit too much beer as my fingers feel puffy today. What can I say, the beauty of nature always makes alcohol so much more enjoyable.)

Anyway, back to the grindstone today, though I'm feeling lost on my WIP. Where is the story going? I feel, as the author, I should know but, um....I....don't. Sometimes that doesn't bother me. Sometimes it does (like today and last week). Oh well, soldier on and all that.

Couldn't find the Barcelona poem I was going to post. I'll have to go back and dig through my older journals, I think. But I found this one from my single years that made me smile.

Missing Joe

I found a Joe one night in the middle of a bunch of country songs
and pool tables, and whiskey shots,
and old drunk guys named Tony.

Bigger than a breadbasket, smaller than a dumptruck,
With brown eyes and a quietness that made it seem
he had a lot to say...about something.
He was the answer to the ad I'd been circulating, the one you
didn't answer.

But he let me pay for dinner when I was out of work,
and didn't give me a jacket to wear for the long walk home
in the grey morning that
smelled of tar and traffic
on the streets
on the sidewalk
in and out of the doorways of my mind
where no amount of
stretching, writhing, lifting, shifting, licking, lipping, biting, clawing,
could make that Joe fit.

His limbs were too long, his lips too soft.
His sense of humor neatly sandwiched between two dry pieces of
white bread toast.

He didn't even try to grab my ass,
had to be coaxed to the rhythm of a
softly, ticking clock.
I fell asleep because I did not fear intrusion.

This morning the ad goes up again--
Seeking one Joe, paper trained, must have all shots.

Thinking blogger award

Ms. Kate Willoughby was the second person to nominate me for this award, so I supposed I'd better pay attention this time. I don't consider myself a thinking anything, lol--I'm more a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. But I am honored that Ms. Willoughby considered my man meat Monday deep thoughts worthy of such an honor.

So....I get to nominate people now right?.....but....I'm not gonna....

NOT! because I don't have many thinking and blogging friends. But because I know all the people I would nominate have been nominated before, and I don't frequent enough blogs outside our circle to keep this from getting incestuous.

So, the thinking blog buck stops here with me. Poor thinking blog....what a sad, unworthy place to die, lol.

Hugs, and happy weekend all! Be safe and don't drink and drive and remember our troops here and gone. I'll be celebrating my 'troop's' 35 birthday with him. He has Monday off from Air Force duties and we'll be doing a Memorial Day/Birthday thing at my mom's house in the retirement village.

Good times :). See you back here on Tuesday (when I will post both my Man Meat and Poetry train efforts....going to be out and about on Monday :))

Anna J. Evans

Too skinny to live

(Warning: Soap box post, feel free to leave and come back tomorrow if you don't like it when I do that, lol. Hugs. A)

We've all heard the phrase "too stupid to live", and thunked our heads against the wall just thinking about those dumb ass romance heroines too stupid to run from the god damned zombie chasing them down the road, or the ex-lover hiding in the closet with a knife, or what have you.

But today I'm talking about the Too Skinny to Live, an apparently equally reviled new species of romance heroine if I'm to believe what I've seen on recent blogs, on Q & A sessions on message boards, and the one on one feedback I've received at many romance conferences throughout the years.

Many romance writers (and readers) seem to HATE skinny women--which I've gathered is anyone under a size 6. Some of the sentiments I've read lately are 'no wonder your villianesses are skinny, women who won't eat more than a leaf of lettuce are bitches, no question'. Or 'readers don't want to read about perfect people, they want someone who they can relate to'. Or 'thank goodness other people feel the same way, I want to read about healthy heroines, not stick people.'

Not to mention the numerous comments about 'sittting on the skinny people to make them shut up', or 'shut up, skinny people don't have problems', or 'look at you cute little thing, don't you just want to claw her eyes out'. (That last said at Nationals by an older romance author standing with her three friends who all laughed at me. I happened to totally idolize this woman, and after I grovelled a bit she saw my inner beauty and we bonded all girl-power like and all, but that's not the point of this post.)

I've just, well...I've had it. As a skinny person, I'm here to stick out my scrawny neck and say a few things.

1. Skinny people are not necessarily 'unhealthy'. I am naturally 120 pounds, a size 2-4, eating anything I want. Steak, chocolate for breakfast, whatever. I eat, and I eat a lot. But I also work out and try not to make those unhealthy choices too terribly often. Because I want to stay strong to keep up with my kids, not because I'm on a diet. I am not a bad role model to other women because I am thin.

And being overweight is not necessarily 'healthy'. Being obese is not good for you! It's just not. Too much weight can kill you as certainly as smoking a pack a day. I love my girlfriends, I love women, and I don't think its cool to pretend that all large women are healthy role models. Anoerexia is horrible, but so is obesity. Both ruin the lives of wonderful women. Let's promote healthy attitudes, not sizest ones in either direction. Healthy is being at a good weight for YOUR body, not anyone else's.

2. Skinny people have problems and feelings too. I am continually amazed that this fact is so hard for some people to believe. I have borderline osteoporosis, I've had cervical cancer. I've had a father die, I've had friends die, my heart has been broken by men who didn't want me. I've been told I was unattractive. I've been ridiculed and tormented by other kids when I was in school. Pain is universal. And so is discrimination. As women we already have to deal with a lot of bullshit. It makes me livid to see us attacking each other.

Just as it is cruel to make jokes to a fat person about their weight, it is also cruel to attack a thin person and tell them you're going to sit on them to make them shut up.

It is also not okay to attack me at a conference, right before my first book signing when I'm nervous as hell and just wanting to be liked. Simply because the aspect of my physical body that bothers you happens to be socially acceptable, that doesn't make it okay to make someone self-conscious and embarassed. Does it?

3. Skinny women have insecurities about their bodies too! Maybe it's their saggy post-baby tits. Or their lack of ass. Or the fact that they are so small they have to wear girl sizes and don't feel like real grown ups (not me, but I do have friends this small who rage against having to wear pink all the time). Being thin is not a get-in-free pass to Self-Confidence-Ville. It just ain't, sorry to destroy the dream.

Especially when you are the odd woman out for being thin and other women suddenly feel it's okay to make fun of you. Hearing 'shut ups skinny' or 'oh yeah, she's the skinny one' said about oneself all the time does not feel like a compliment, not even a backhanded one. It feels like a condemnation, a reason to find me unacceptable. It feels like I'm being judged for the way I look, not what I write, or what I might have to contribute to a group.

4.. Just because my ass is skinnier, that doesn't mean I should have to bend over and kiss yours.I'm a nice person. I have never made fun of anyone for the way they look, not even on the playground (because I was always too insecure myself). I don't even think negative thoughts about larger people. I honestly don't. I don't know why they're carrying extra weight around, hell I don't even know if that IS extra weight on their body. I'm not there to judge them on their weight. I'll judge them on whether or not they are assholes. If I'm an asshole to you, feel free to tear into me. But I believe it is impossible to be an asshole simply by walking around in a size 4 dress.

And so...I'm done I think. This post has been building for awhile in case you couldn't tell, lol.

I understand that overweight people have been the butt of jokes, social stigma, and just plain meanness. That is a societal problem, however, not something perpetrated by every woman who is thin. I can safely say being thin has won me very little in the way of 'freebies' of late. Instead it has inserted an uncomfortable hurdle when trying to make friends. So...let's just let the love flow man....flow...no matter how big or how small we are.

Hugs from my scrawny arms,

Anna J. Evans

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Countries I'd visit again Anna J. Evans
1. Greece!! Absolute top of the list. I went there with a girlfriend when I was fourteen and have been dying to go again ever since. We started on an island, then did Athens, and then drove all over the countryside, climbing over old ruins. I was fourteen in the picture below...yep...trouble waiting to happen with my big sunglasses, lol. I didn't actually get started on the trouble until 16, however :).


2. Turkey. Exotic, wild, and totally different than anything I'd seen before. Turkish men love blue eyes however, so beware if you are of the blue-eyed ilk. They'll keep inviting you to 'have tea', but that ain't all they're looking for I assure you.

3. Mexico. Been three times, and will go as often as they will let me over the border. My favorite trip was to Patzcuaro where the ex and I went to photograph the day of the dead festival. This is one of my favorite shots I took below. I love the skeleton and the clock...ooo...time is passing oh lowly mortal. (yeah, it was an accident, I didn't plan it, I'm not that bright, lol.)


4. Ireland. I went in March and I still loved it despite the cold and rain. I hitchhiked across the country with 'the only other boy I ever loved' and have never met friendlier people. Like the south without all the Bible belt crazies.

5. England. I'll count this as a seperate country because I'm a welsh/irish girl. Blechk...they can keep it, stinky old London especially. Polluted to the point it give you black boogers. And the English have a real knack for saying 'oh...you're American' in a way that lets you know you're the equivalent of dog shit on their shoe. But I'd still go back because I need to do some research on old London papers from 1750 for my WIP.

6. Portugal. Horrid food, but the island of Madeira was gorgeous in a violent wonderful landscape kind of way that I've never seen anywhere else. Beautiful. Yeah, that picture below is sideways...um, I don't have time to go rotate it in photoshop, lol. It's from Lisbon, also a lovely old city.


7. Romania. Only saw the capital, but would love to see more.

8. Canada. Oh Canada!! I love Canada. I think I want to be Canadian when I retire. So beautiful, and such nice people. Of course, I may have just watched too much of the Anne of Green Gables miniseries...

9. Aruba. What's not to like about a place that's mostly beach? I ask you?

10. France. Love the French too! Their friendliness was quite appreciated (and surprising). I had just left London, however, so just about anyone would have seemed friendly by those standards.

11. Germany. Really nice people in Germany too. Of course, I kind of look a little German, I guess, because people kept coming up to ask me for directions. I do a very good 'I know what the hell I'm doing' walk, lol.

12. Spain! Barcelona inspired some of my first really bad poetry. I'll see if I can dig some up for Poetry train/man meat Monday. The Van Gough museum was awesome, and the food to die for. Tapas, wine, and paella, yummy.

13. Italy. I'm taking the hubs here as soon as I get rich writing. To Cinque Terra specifically. The most gorgeous 5 little towns built on cliffs right by the ocean. There are vineyards on the side of the mountains, lemon trees from which they make limoncello, great hiking trails from city to city, and great pesto and fish. Yum!

God! I want to go on a trip NOW!! How about ya'll? Favorite places to travel? Tell me all!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens! Mr. Linky below

Release Wednesday

Hey all!

My Naughty Nuptial Quickie releases today over at Elllora's Cave! I'm very excited. This is my first futuristic set on another planet and I had so much fun writing it. It kind of has a historical flavor, and I worked a bunch of ancient Viking facts I'd researched into the story--especially the marriage ritual--and...anyway...it was fun. Hope anyone who plunks down their coin enjoys the read :)

So in honor of the release, I'm having excerpt-palooza.

First the one below, then you can read the next in order of story (and hotness) order over at the Deliciously Naughty Writers blog and then the last scorching r-rated 'cerpt over at the Nightwhispers Authors blog.

Seducing the Enemy
By Anna J. Evans
Naughty Nuptials Quickie
Available May 23 2007
Ellora's Cave
Link: http://www.ellorascave.com/AuthorsBooks.asp?AuthorCode=AJE



BLURB:

Astrid escapes the planet where her tribeswomen have been exiled, determined to find Prince Jorunn and force him to fufill an ancient prophecy--the one that fortells of their marriage and the savior of Astrid's people. She's going to kidnap the man and handfast with him, no matter what he has to say about it, and no matter how much she longs for love and a true marriage of the heart.

The last thing she expects is that she'll find the man of her dreams while seducing the enemy.


EXCERPT:

“There must have been a mistake.”

“There is no mistake. It’s him. I’d know that chin anywhere,” Astrid said, eyes narrowing as she homed in on the shadowed face.

It was him, all right, the man whose visage was plastered over every available posting board on the Endelvean moon where their ship had landed late the night before. No one else would suspect that the Prince of Endelvea would dare land on one of the rough, outlaw-ridden moons, but Astrid had known he would come. Once he realized the sacred sword of his forefathers was missing, he would have no choice but to search, and Astrid had risked everything to ascertain she knew exactly where he would go looking.

“This was a horrible idea. We should never have come. What are you going to do if we fail? The Glagors won’t be merciful, they’ll make you pay the—”

“We won’t fail. He’s here, and he’s unguarded. The hardest part is accomplished, now all we have to do is get him to our ship without being observed.”

“He’s enormous, and we have no weapons. How will we ever force—”

“We aren’t going to use force,” Astrid said, letting her simple fur cape slide off her shoulders to puddle in the seat behind her. She shivered from the double hit of the cold air on her nearly bare skin, and the heat of dozens of male eyes suddenly upon her. Heaven’s Gate was one of the roughest bars on Endelvea Moon Three, and she and Mina had already created quite a stir even in their bulky, shapeless clothing, simply by being female.

“Oh dear goddess mother,” Mina whispered.

“Relax, you look scared.”

“I am scared. These men look as if they’re going to leap upon you and tear you limb from limb.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Endelveans aren’t cannibals.”

“You know what I mean,” Mina said, her deep green eyes expressing just how little humor she found in their current situation.

“Calm yourself. Men only rarely force a woman into intercourse, and never in a public place,” Astrid said, taking a slow sip of her drink and praying she was right. Her mother and older aunts had told her much about men—their bodies, their customs, the way they behaved in the marriage bed—but who knew how the world had changed in fifteen years? Maybe men really did leap upon women and ravage them like the giant fruit bats on Tiber ripped into ripened ganna melons.

She had no way of knowing for sure. Not a single woman of the Artuan tribe had laid eyes on a man for fifteen years. They had borne no sons or daughters, and each day that passed brought their once powerful race closer to extinction. Astrid had sworn that she would make a deal with the demons of the universe themselves if it meant a chance to save her people, to bring the comfort of the handfast and the marriage bed to women still haunted by memories of the husbands the Endelvean king had slain.

Nothing could bring those husbands or fathers back, but at least her mother and the older women of her tribe, as well as Mina and her other friends, would have the chance to find love. They could put their years of exile behind them and once again share their lives with a man who would care for them and their children. Her mother had sworn that not all men or kings were hateful creatures who would exile women and children to an inhospitable planet. Astrid had believed her, but it was becoming difficult to hold on to that dream of a decent, loving man when all she had seen since their ship landed were criminals and skeevers of the worst sort.

“Oh goddess!” Mina squeaked, her eyes round as she buried her face in her drink and took a deep draw on her curly, pink straw.

“Be careful. This liquor is stronger than what we brew at home.”

“I think I just saw a man’s shaft. He pulled up his robe, and winked at me!”

“Did you wink back?” Astrid asked, unable to keep her eyes from scanning the crowd, incredibly curious to see that part of a man with her own eyes.

“Don’t joke, Astrid. It was hideous, fat and red and…monstrous-looking.”

“Surely it can’t be that horrible. Our mothers say the marriage bed was a pleasurable place,” Astrid said, her voice sounding amazingly sure to her own ears, despite the knot of anxiety that tightened her belly. Monstrous or not, she would soon be taking a man, and his shaft, to bed. There was no other choice for her.

Her eyes found him almost of their own accord, drawn to the nearly seven feet of man who still lurked near the entry to the bar. He leaned against the wall, hidden in deep shadows, but she could feel his attention on her. He was looking at her, taking in her pale skin, covered only by the shining blue pluran scales she had strung together especially for this mission. With her long, nearly blue-black hair hanging in a silky wave down to her waist, and the shining scales catching the gray of her eyes, Astrid knew that she was a striking vision.

She’d had doubts about whether that vision would entice the male of the species, but those doubts were gone. She could feel the burning desire, the hunger that pulsed through the room. These men wanted her, wanted to bed her, but only one would have the privilege—her future husband, the man most of the galaxy considered the most handsome male alive.

HA! I laughed SO hard when I read this

Some of you might remember my DH has a blog (I used to link to it at my old blog). He recently returned to blogging and the post he wrote yesterday made me laugh until I nearly peed myself. I don't know if it will be as funny to people who aren't familiar with the drivers in Arkansas, but he pokes some gentle fun at your truly that gave me a good giggle.

So check it out if you have a second:

http://keepingitup.blogspot.com

And the blog title refers to his career in aircraft maintanence, not anything else you perverts!! The other kind of KIU is my job :).

Anna J. Evans

Man Meat/Poetry Train Monday

"Ah, back to nature with my manly self. It is so good to feel the bark of the tree against my manly ass, though the termites attacking my manly, um, other bits leave something to be desired."

Hello! I'm back for another poetry train Monday, lol. Sorry, don't mean to torture you people! Anyway, this is from when I lived in NY city. I was probably intoxicated when I wrote this. I was intoxicated....a lot...when I live in NYC. I found it an exhausting and miserable and soul-crushing place to live, despite the fact that I did, and still do, enjoy a visit there like no other place in the world. It's hard to be an introvert in that place because you can never find a place to recharge with no people around.

Hugs, happy Monday, I'll be back to blog-hop later, after a trip to the gym for me, and then a trip to Gymboree with the Roo.

Anna J. Evans


A DATE WITH THE ARTIST

Far from the black songs of the city
Up on the red bench in the square,
Inside a child's memory there lives an ancient laugh-
formed from the dreams of the
saxophone angels.

Draped in robes of stained glass sun,
unconcerned with the waves from the
summer day trip motor boats,
she is the Saint Trellice.

She serves we thirsty ones in need,
the artist's sister who coos in the sunlight,
the artist with his hush at susnset,
and his whispers in the night.

Dreamers are always dancing here,
picking others to replace forgotten partners and
those they wish they could forget.

Love, I swear the terra cotta pots are
singing our song.
I wish you were here.

There is no dancing for me,
only high-wire walking with a red helium ballon.
It will do nothing to break my fall,
and I wonder...
where you are.

Dear God, I'm exhausted

Tired...sooooo....tired. We had a hell of delurk day yesterday over at the Deliciously Naughty Writers loop.

We chatted and posted excerpts and chatted and it was super fun and...exhausting. I've also managed to meet my writing goal for the week (mostly...if I manage to sqeezee 3 more k out between now and tomorrow evening), and been a patient, indulgent, play-ground-going-every-single-day stay at home mommy. And even managed to get Roo to poo in the potty 3 times.

Therefore, I am taking at least half a day off today. I'm going to go eat Sonic breakfast that my sweet hubby is off fetching for us (with the Roo in the carseat because he wasn't leaving Daddy M's side this morning. They're a pretty cute pair, my boys :)). Then I'll write a bit and then....leave the computer OFF for the REST of the day. That's right. Come 11 am-ish, this baby is going to take a nap. And...maybe I will too.

Hope you have a great Friday!

Anna J. Evans

Thursday Thirteen-13 EC Contracts :)

Okay, so there's been a lot of buzz on the web lately about the 'crappy new EC' authors with their 'abundance of contracts'. So I'll just preface this by saying that it has taken nearly 3 years for me to amass this many contracts. Four of these were completed novels and novellas that I pitched at the RWA National convention in 2005 and signed 6 months later. (So I guess I'm not really "new", per se....but what have you :))

They all happen to be coming out near each other simply because of random fate and editing needs and ect. I am fairly prolific, however, so I've got at least 5 projects out there making the rounds that are not headed EC's way. However, I will say (and this is all that I will say about this weird blog nonsense), that I have loved working with Ellora's Cave. They have been nothing but professional and wonderful, and both of my editors have been great respectors of the story in addition to the sex.

The editing process is very thorough, but yes, I'm sure there are still some typos that make it through. I just finished reading "Alluring Tales" (Avon) and I found at least 4-5 typos, but that didn't take away from my enjoyment in reading at all. In fact, if you're the type that can't find a lot of time to read, that book is a great one. Six quickie stories and all of them hot, fast paced, and a joy to read. I give it 4and 1/2 out of 5 smiley faces. (I think that was my first informal review, ever :)).

Off my soap box, now. So the motivator here is-- I just got word yesterday that EC has accepted my 13th story! So it seemed appropriate to make a list this thursday 13...


Thirteen EC contracts from Anna J. Evans
In order of contract signage...

1. Ellora's Cavemen: Dreams of the Oasis Volume 2 ("Allergic to Love")

2. "Enchanted"

3. Perfectly Wicked "Main Attraction"

4. Perfectly Wicked "Sinfully Sweet"

5. Perfectly Wicked "Bad Apple"

6. "Off the Deep End"

7. "Love Fool"

8. "As the Lady Wishes" (co-written with December Quinn)

9. "Decking the Hollisters"

10. "Seducing the Enemy" (out May 23rd :))

11. Ellora's Cavemen: Season's of Seduction Vol 4 ("The Best of Both Worlds")

12. "Demon's Triad" (co-written with December Quinn)

13. THE NEW ONE!! Perfectly Wicked "Beauty Sleep" (title not yet approved, may change)


I think Mr. Linky should be down there to do the work for me this week. (fingers crossed)

Wandering Wednesday

This is a picture I took in Portugal, on the island of Madeira. It was the last trip I took with the ex-husband, when I still had access to all his fancy lenses. Ooooo...pretty lenses. If I ever get rich writing books, I'm going to invest in a few. I love photography, but I don't care what the pros say--the lens does matter.

For a truly eye-scarring picture that I didn't take, head over to the Nightwhispers Authors blog. And for a goofy list of sexy songs (by me) and some much more thoughtful musings on the sensuality of sound (by the other Deliciously Naughty writers), head over to the Deliciously Naughty writers blog.

Hugs, busy Wednesday. Got way behind on my wordcount for the new book yesterday due to some unexpected edits. But the unexpectedly edited book turned out much better for the extra effort, so it's all good. I'm hoping to catch up a bit today.

Anna J. Evans

Twas Cinderella, and website opinions sought

Sorry Nero, I'm SO glad you stopped by, but it was Cinderella, not Poison who sung the immortal words, "don't know what cha got, til its gone."

I'd like to thank DECEMBER QUINN for clearing that up for us, and providing the following link to the album on which the touching hard rock ballad first appeared:

http://www.rocknrollhell.com/cinderella/longcoldwinter.html

In other news, poetry Monday was fun yesterday, lol. It was a little frightening pulling out college stuff, but amusing as well. I don't know if I'll be back next week, but I may try. I'm really not a very good poet. I just used to like to play with words and write nonsense that reminded me of a dream or a time or place or what have you. I did enjoy everyone else's work, however, so I'll have to make time to hop around the blogosphere on Mondays.



Last but not least, I'm moving my site from from laughoutloudsexy.com to annajevans.com
at the end of the month. The anna site is still a work in progress, but I'd love to get some feedback if anyone has time. Is it looking okay so far? Anything about the layout/content annoying? What else would you like to see?

I figured it was time for a makeover, but I'm hoping to get it mostly right the first time, lol.

Hugs! Happy Tuesday,

Anna

Man Meat Monday/1st Poetry Monday

Haven't posted this one in awhile. Whew...this guy is just too yummy for me to post any of his 'deep thoughts'. I'll have to hunt for a suitable beefcake to poke fun at later and update the post if I get a chance.

Summer madness has officially started around the Evans house (I'm making my hubby be Mr. Evans for the Passionate Ink luncheon. This amuses me probably more than it should, lol, but I am a dork). The hubby is working about 28 out of the next 30 days due to Air Force annual training and the Roo is out of Mom's Day Out until September 20th. The girls are still in school, but getting them up and at 'em is harder every day. They're in that 'god I'm so ready to be done with school' mode. I remember that mode....god wouldn't I give to go back and have school be my only obligation!! Well, you know what they say, "don't know what cha got, till it's gone"...was that Guns N Roses?

I'm going to try to get my usual word count done today despite the rugrat being underfoot through a combination of timed writing during Sesame Street (which he's usually glued to), nap, and for 30 minutes after school when 12 usually watches him so I can cook supper. I'm going to nuke lasagna instead of cooking because I'm that kind of SAHM-writer. I'll let you know if I succeed....

If I manage to get my present book done before the end of May, I'm going to reward myself in some fashion. What do you do to pamper yourself after a job well done? It's been so long since I did anything except write and mommy I think I've forgotten....

Anna J. Evans (hopefully back to update later with some more man meat, but we'll see what the day holds)

Back with a poem because I keep saying I will jump in with Rhian and friends and I keep not doing it. So here I go, jumpin' in, this was written 9 long years ago, I was 20:

That other life-

Tempo of a busy rocking hammer,
Fast as grandma's home movies.
Somewhere a piano tinkles madly as that woman in
short, white, lace runs to the seashore and turns--
her smile fast as a reflection.

Toes hug sand and feet applaud the ocean,
caressing with its warm wet July tongue.
(Promotional fees paid by the sea salt which,
freed from its recipes,
dashes here and there.)

Hard footfalls race crabs back to their holes,
trapping them there with thumbs,
flesh holding tight to itself in the time before x-rays and underwires.
The smell of decomposition is not familiar,
her nose is filled with sunshine, she wears rosewater,
her favorite colors are peach and salmon pink--
SALMON pink, she emphasizes, NOT just pink.

Her favorite body part is her nose, she washes it with a toothbrush.
Her friends call her Sadie, but her full name was Adelaide.

She suddenly stands till, worrying about freckles,
thinking about time passing,
wondering if that other girl might be watching.

Faster tempo, that same rocking hammer,
the film dances out as she runs away.

I hear the sound of the sea in shells,
smell salt, think about time passing,
wondering if I should be watching,
or remembering that time as Adelaide.

-AJE 1999


Linkies below, I hope:

In honor of the Roo turning three

My baby is 3....3!! When did it happen? He's such a big boy now. I had super cute video of him singing in the bathtub, but then I thought I should take it down because he'd probably want to kill me for putting a naked baby video of him out in the world. I mean, assuming he ever knew about it, which he probably wouldn't but...he's 3 now and getting very grown up. So I stuck up this one in which he's talking about his new baby cousin, lol. He's SO going to be his aunt and uncle's favorite.

I'm talking in my annoying 'mommy' voice, which I swore I wouldn't ever have. Of course, the kid popped out and I immediately began talking like an idiot. Forgive me if you can. Or just ignore me and concentrate on the munchkin talk which is pretty cute...I think anyway.

Okay, off to do more party planning. No more Mother's Day Out until September 20th, so there may not be as much blog action around here. I'll still try to post (and I've got quite a vent planned for next week so stay tuned because I fear I may unintentionally piss some people off and that's always fun), but I may not be around to reply to comments in as punctual a manner as usual.

Still! I appreciate everyone who stops by to visit and I'll try to make the rounds of your blogs as often as possible, while still getting all the freaking writing and childcaring done, lol.

Hugs, happy weekend,

Anna J. Evans

Thursday Thirteen

Cheesy entry that's not nearly as mooshy as I'd planned because Roo won't give me a second's peace this morning argh!!


Thirteen Things about my hubbyby Anna J. Evans
1. He's been in the Air Force since he was 17. His parents had to sign something to let him go to basic training.

2. He comes from a family of 8 children. He's pretty much smack in the middle.

3. He's a 'Jr' even though he was the second son born in the family, not the first.

4. He comes from a very small town in Pennsylvania which is very, very cute, but pretty economically depressed.

5. He's served overseas 4-5 times in places like Korea, Saudi Arabia, Germany, etc.

6. He was married for the first time at 21 and became a dad nine months later (oops honeymoon). And he's one of the best dads I've ever known.

7. He's a Master Seargant (sp?) but not an officer because he doesn't have a college degree.

8. He's one of the smartest people I know who doesn't have a college degree.

9. We've talked about going back to college together after we get rid of a few kids. I'd be going for my masters in something and he his bachelor's in something else, lol.

10. He gets up every morning at 5:45 am to go to work.

11. He still helps me fold clothes when he gets home if I'm on the 3rd load of the day.

12. He has an eye freckle and brown/green eyes that turn light grey at the top when he gets bulgy-eyes (as the kids call them...usually he's pissy when the eyes bulge. But still, even with 3 kids, 2 of whom are super strong-willed, they don't get that way too often).

13. He's my best friend and I feel so lucky to be married to him.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Rhian the Creative Goddess
Crystal Jordan


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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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8 Things about Anna-UPDATED for Wed

Hey ya'll,

No time for an all new post here. So read the one from yesterday if you haven't, lol. Or stop by the Deliciously Naughty Blog for some HOT man meat and talk about the Ken doll bits, or the Nightwhispers Author blog for a little post.

Happy hump day,

Anna J. Evans

Here are the rules:

1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

OK - 8 Random Facts/Habits About Me:

1. I'm dealing with a VERY defiant nearly 3 year old the past few weeks and it's making me a little crazy. Okay, a LOT crazy. Why don't we come out of the womb all nice and socialized and knowing not to hit/bite/scratch/throw fits until we vomit?

2. I had spaghetti with chicken marinara sauce last night. It was good.

3. I lifted weights yesterday and the area between my shoulder blades is howling in agony as I type this. I am SO out of muscley shape.

4. "Enchanted" got 4 Stars from Romantic Times Magazine. Finally got my copy this weekend and was very excited :).

5. I'm the most unpopular mom at Gymobree and they don't invite me and Roo to their birthday parties. I'm assuming this is because I'm a California dork who dresses and talks and acts strangely and Riley is so much cuter/smarter than their kids. Lol. Really...he is. He wasn't the smartest kid by FAR in Cali, but I guess in inbred Arkansas he's like the most brilliant turd around. He's in for a rude awakening when he goes to college, however, just like his mama. Oh I was the brain queen of JHS, but man did I learn what REAL smart people were when I moved to New York, lol.

6. I'm getting ready to have my 6 month anniversary and wedded bliss is still blissful. No matter what crap we have to deal with sometimes, I wouldn't trade my hubby for anything. He's a wonderful, amazing, fabulous man.

7. I love sushi, and wish I could find a place where it's good around here.

8. I have a nearly three year old on my back right now and...

That's why I'm not going to link to the people I"m taking right now (below). Sorry, I'm just that lazy. Besides all of them are in my blog roll so you can just dart over there to the side bar and find out where to find them.

My 8 Tagged People-Robin L. Rotham, Kate Willoughby, Shelli Stevens, December Quinn, Rhian the Creative Goddess, Isabella Snow, Crystal Jordan, Roxy Harte.

You guys totally don't have to do this if you don't want. I can't believe I actually did, really, because I'm so bad about chain emails, tags, etc.

Man Meat Monday--and a RWA Nationals question

"Because I want to get close to my country...very, very close. So close that the stars and stripes can cradle my manly bits and pieces, the way this great nation has cradled the melting pot of democracy."

In a related RWA National dress code question, I was wondering what to advise my hubby to wear on the last night. All the chickies wear formals and such, but I haven't seen many men there...or else I just wasn't paying attention to the men, or whatever. But he asked if he should wear his Air Force dress tuxedo. I was like...um, I guess so? Then he pulled it out and I was like....um, yes, yes, you certainly should...because I immediately starting having dirty "Officer and a Gentleman" type fantasies. Though I'm hardly Debra Winger and the hubs isn't an Officer. He is a Master Sergeant NCOC, however, and calling him that is usually enough to cause certain stirrings down below if you know what I mean.

I write erotic romance, why must I be so coy, right? I must. That's the end of it.

Happy Monday, off to hunt down Thomas the Tank Engine plates for 2's party this weekend. He'll be turning 3!! Already! When did this past year happen?!

Anna J. Evans

The Tempest in the Tea Kettle

Yesterday I got a call from Big'un (12, my oldest step-daughter), and as usual she was completely incoherent on the phone. (She's very shy and can't even order food at a restaurant and I suppose talking on the phone with all of her friends there watching was making her nervous or something.) Usually this doesn't bother me since she mostly calls to say she forgot her lunch or her gym clothes or that she neglected to tell me today was an early dismissal or whatever. But yesterday, the call went like this--

Me: Hello?

Big'un: Um...hi...

Me: Is this Big'un?

Big'un: Yeah...um...there were some people...and...

Me: Are you okay? (clearly she is more out of phone sorts than usual)

Big'un: Um...yeah...but there was this guy, and he called...someone had a gun...

Me:What?! Are you okay? People are laughing the background I can hear them. No one threatened to shoot someone at your school did they? Talk to me, Big'un!! (and a bunch of other stuff, talking so rapid fire that of course Big'un could not get a word in edgewise) Okay, let me talk to your teacher, is she there? Let me talk to her.

Big'un: Umm....(sigh)....okay.

So I get the teacher on the phone and learn that a student at Pulaski Technical College (20 miles away from my stepdaughter's school) called in and said he'd heard another student talking about a shooting. Somehow, in the sick, twisted, bored, little minds of the staff at my daughter's school that made them think they needed to encourage students and parents to leave. When I got there to pick her up, I asked them what the hell was going on and they had the balls to say "we're a satellite school of Pulaski Tech (um...they have a couple of professors who teach college classes at the High School part time, would HARDLY call that being a 'satellite school) and we'd rather be safe than sorry".

Meanwhile, the entire staff is out stomping about the grounds with walkie-talkies, acting like kids playing war and all of the kids are scared out of their minds FOR NO FUCKING REASON!! I was so angry I wanted to strangle someone. I mean, there is 'realistic fear' and then there's just fear mongering. My daughter's school was not threatened. It just wasn't! Not by name and not by association except in the minds of people working from a psychology of fear and who have so little going on in their lives that they would create drama where there is none.

I mentioned this in a less confrontational way and was told by the harried woman at the desk "well, I'd rather have my child safe."

"Oh no, not me, I'd rather see Big'un shot in the head with an ouzi," I said in my best mock serious voice and turned to stomp out of the ridiculous woman's precense. I suppose no one is allowed to have a different opinion of their hysteria or they're 'evil people who don't care about the welfar of their children'.

I care SO much about Big'un and I treat her the way I treat my 'bio' child. But she has enough REAL shit to deal with everyday, and is timid and frightened more than I would like for her to be at nearly 13. Not as bad as when I met her, but still. I've almost been hit by a car--seriously, felt the rearview mirror on my hip one time when I was holding Roo--in the Sam's parking lot, but do I stop going to shop for bargains? No. The world is not a safe place, but we have to live in it. If we start 'danger by associationing' everthing, then no one will ever be able to leave their homes.

I lived in NYC during the trade center bombings. Did we leave town immeidately? No. I've been in a Roman train station when terrorists came running in wearing black ski masks and the police tear gassed us and we had to run, blinded, out into the street with a thousand other people. We were back in that station and on a train an hour later, once the situation had been resolved. If you give into the psychology of terror, then the terrorists win.

I would NEVER want to put one of my kids in danger, but neither do I want them to learn to run scared everytime som psycho bully spits in their direction. We still fly, we still go to school, we still visit NYC, we must continue to live our lives in the face of this shit.

And that's all I can say about that. Roo will no longer allow so much typing early in the morning. He's crawling over me and hitting the keys and saying he's not going to be a good boy today unless he gets some 6am morning snuggles.

Lol...blechk, good weekend.

Anna

It's Thursday Again

Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen things I would do if I could stay in bed all day today-by Anna J. Evans

1. Sleep

2. Read

3. Sleep

4. Write on my laptop

5. Watch bad soap operas I lost track of years ago

6. Tune up the DVD player and put on some Anne of Green Gables mini series

7. Have a bed picnic and finish up the Easter candy

8. Sleep

9. Get out of bed long enough to take a hot bath and change PJ and then get back in

10. Put on peaceful music, stick my eyepillow over my eyes and meditate on nothing but the sound of the ceiling fan

11. Sleep

12. Read and write some more

13. Sleep some more

Can you tell I'm just THAT tired? It's been a big few months. Had some mild food poisoning yesterday and it was just the last straw. I want to get into my bed and never come out...or never come out for at least a day, maybe two.

Leave your link in the comments and I WILL link to you, especially if you give me more suggestions as to what I should do if I ever get that elusive bed-ridden vacation.

Anna J. Evans

I WILL LINK TO YOU BELOW IF YOU LEAVE A COMMENT!!

Rhian-Creative Goddess
Crystal Jordan
Daisy Dexter Dobbs
Shelly Munro
Robin L. Rotham
Shelli Stevens

My mortal enemy-the ham sandwich and links

You Are a Grilled Cheese Sandwich

You are a traditional person with very simple tastes. In your opinion, the best things in life are free, easy, and fun. You totally go with the flow. And you enjoy every minute of it! Your best friend: The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Ham Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

If you are other than my mortal enemy the ham sandwich, go check out how much I hate housework over at the Deliciously Naughty Writers blog. Or, go see more about my hermaphrodite brain over at the Nightwhispers Authors blog.

Newsletter Live

Learn how to win a free download of "Seducing the Enemy" by reading my always inspirational newsletter:

http://laughoutloudsexy.com/May_newsletter.htm

Would write more, but toddler crawling on chair, demanding 'pictures of himself'. Vain little man.

Hugs,

Anna J. Evans